Complicated {with plenty reason}

Although it has been 3 years since I have hadhim as teacher, he never forgot my name or who is was. Walking alone to Spanish everyday, I see Mr. Sandy’s smiling face. “Hi Jennifer! How are you?!” he says. “Hey Mr. Sandy, I am doing good, how about you?” “GREAT” he states with a grin. Everyday, this year this conversation has taken place.

Since you never forgot me,
I will never forget you.

Although Pro-Anorexia is not commonly heard of, it’s becoming more and more available to the public. With a growing use of the internet, pro-anorexia groups and websites are growing in numbers. If one is wondering, pro-anorexia is excepting anorexia as a life style instead of a disease.

The first time I came across a pro-anorexia site was when I was searching for support during my recovery. I was in some ways disgusted and in others intrigued in what I found. Many organizations, such as ANAD (The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) have tried to shut down the pro-anorexia sites. Many see these sites as disturbing due to the way Anorexia is commercialized. These sites contain tips, tricks, weight charts, lists of “safe foods”, etc. Some sites even contain “competitions” in which people compete to see who can lose the most weight the fastest.These competitions are what I found to be the most disturbing. (What are they competing for, who can die the fastest?) Forums are another common item found on these websites. These forums were supposedly made to provide support for eating disordered people. Searching through these forums, I came across people begging to become anorexic. (NOTE: In normal situations, Anorexia Nervosa is not something that people choose to develop. People develop it through emotional difficulties. The majority of eating disordered people don’t realize they have the disorder until they reach a very low point and are forced to have treatment.) Thinspiration can also be found on these sites. Thinspiration is simply inspiration to become thin, which include pictures of extremely thin models and actresses. A “Letter From Anna” can also be found. This letter is supposedly a letter for Anorexia Nervosa claiming that if a person isn’t thin, they aren’t a good person. The “Letter From Anna” also tells the reader that they are an undeserving person and that they can never be thin enough. These websites can be very harmful to a person in recovery from an eating disorder due to the fact they encourages anorexia.

On the defense of these websites, each contains a warning that if one hasn’t already developed an eating disorder they should not enter.
“This site is NOT trying to persuade anyone on any subject be it an eating disorder or self harm or anything else, we are here to listen and have some fun, This site has no Doctor’s and the advice is from us members, if you are seriously concerned about your health right now, please see a Doctor”
-Jay (Web master of a Pro-anorexic site)
Although warnings like this one exist on each website, the warnings aren’t very affective. These websites can help a person with an eating disorder realize that they aren’t alone and that others out there experience the same thoughts and habits that they do. Most people who come across these site that haven’t experienced an eating disordered are very disturbed only because they DON’T have the same mind frame as a person struggling with an eating disorder. (ie fear of food, emotional connection with food, fear of weight gain, love of weight loss, etc.) These sites defend themselves from groups trying to shut them down by claiming that if sites promoting obesity aren’t being shut down, then why should sites promoting anorexia be shut down? This is very true. Although they are opposites, they are both the equally unhealthy.

So, is pro-anorexia good or bad? The answer to this question will vary from one person to another. The question is more of an opinion question. This is no real or true answer. Or even away to prove if pro-anorexia is a bad or good thing. My opinion is split. Struggling with an eating disorder myself I can easily relate to these websites and I feel at times they help me, BUT there are also many things that I find on these website that are VERY disturbing.

Quote from Wasted by Marya Hornbacher

Relating to this quote is scary. If one must know, I am a virgin. I relate to this quote because, I myself have tried to fill a void with physical contact with a person of the opposite sex. What void was I trying to fill? To hear a person tell me I am beautiful inside and out sometimes seems not enough for me. Not feeling this way about myself, I really felt as if someone felt this way about me I would begin to feel the same. Through physical contact, I wanted to feel wanted, emotionally and physically. I found nothing through physical contact except pain for two people.

Sex
Many people have different opinions on sex. Many Christians believe that sex is a sacred thing that God gave man and women. Sex in Christian eyes is only meant for husband and wife. The bible even states that one should wait until marriage to engage in sex.

Lu 18:20-
You know the commandments, don’t you? No illicit sex, no killing, no stealing, no lying, honor your father and mother.”
Ac 15:20 -
We’ll write them a letter and tell them, ‘Be careful to not get involved in activities connected with idols, to guard the morality of sex and marriage, to not serve food offensive to Jewish Christians - blood, for instance.’
1Co 6:16 -
There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”
1Co 6:17 -
Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever - the kind of sex that can never “become one.”
Heb 13:4 -
Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.

When I think of my Wedding and Wedding night, I think of losing my virginity. How beautiful would it be to lose my virginity to the man I am spending the rest of my life with? Sex is special, like the bible says “the two become one”. These words are so beautiful and mean so much. Another point made by many: if you only have sex with one person in your entire life, the sex will never be compared to other sexual experiences you’ve had. “Bob was better”. If both partners waited for marriage, the sex between each person would be the best they’ve had in their lives. The better the emotional connection the better the physical connection. With good chemistry between two people comes great sex. In marriage come great chemistry and in turn great sex. Sex is not all about flesh on flesh, it is also about an emotional coming together.

“There is an underlying assumption to the view of sexual intercourse as that which is `intended for pleasure’ (as Dr. Ed Wheat has dubbed it): If God created sex, and if the Bible tells us that he created it for our pleasure, then he knows how we can get the maximum benefit out of it. The view of God as a cosmic killjoy is quite wrong; for every `NO’ there is a `YES’! It is quite true that sex outside of marriage is considered utterly sinful in the Bible. But that is only half the story: within marriage it is profoundly beautiful and utterly good.”

So yes, sex was not only made for reproduction, but also for pleasure. God was intending sex to be made for husband and wife.

“Monogamy and commitment to one person “till death do us part” are the only things that can produce the deepest intimacy. And intimacy, I believe, is what people are really after when they go after sexual experiences.
Genesis 2 says: “they were naked and were not ashamed.” Emotional and physical vulnerability between a man and woman can only take place without fear at the level of the deepest commitment.
It is quite the opposite with one-night stands or casual sex. Repeated violations of the monogamous ideal can only produce emotional sterility. A good example of this is the prostitute: although she would like to think that sex is merely the joining of flesh–something which she can divorce from her emotions–by her attempt to keep her emotions out of it, she becomes hardened, cynical. Ultimately, she is incapable of love”

Quotes information from:
Rushdoony, Neoplatonism, and a Biblical View of Sex
By: Daniel B. Wallace , Th.M., Ph.D. http://www.bible.org/page.asp?page_id=1373

Casual sex… so common today in all age groups.
Should teenagers be having sex? In my opinion no. Teenagers aren’t ready for sex physically, mentally, and emotionally.

If one isn’t going to wait for marriage to have sex because of Christian views, then there are many other reasons to look at.
For example, the consequences… a baby with no support…Sexually transmitted diseases… a break up from the relationship.

“You need to be aware of the good and bad things that might happen if you have sex with someone.
The good things - pleasure, a feeling of closeness, maybe even a deepening in your relationship. These things are more likely to happen when a couple knows and understands each other, decides together that they’re ready to become more intimate and uses condoms and birth control to protect against pregnancy and disease.
The bad things - a sexually transmitted infection, an unplanned pregnancy, a broken heart. Anytime you have sex, there’s a chance of disease and pregnancy. Using birth control and wearing condoms, every single time, reduces the chances of either of these things happening.
Hearts often get broken when a couple hasn’t taken the time to get to know each other before having sex. They haven’t shared their feelings, expectations and desires for themselves and the relationship. Broken hearts happen to just about everyone, sometime during their life. But, if you jump into a sexual relationship with someone you barely know, you’re more likely to be emotionally hurt or to hurt the other person.
So, to sum up, before you’re ready to have sex, you need to be aware of the possible consequences and risks, know how to get and use birth control and condoms, talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns and then be able to cope with any negative consequences. That’s a lot to take on. Spend some time thinking about this heavy decision and make sure it’s your choice, not something that someone pressures you into.
Here are some questions to answer:
? Do I feel ready to have a intimate sexual relationship with another person?
? What are my values/beliefs about sex? Relationships?
? What would my parents or family think about me being in a sexual relationship? Would they approve? Disapprove?
? What does my religion say about having a sexual relationship?
? What would I do if I started a pregnancy or became pregnant?
? What type of birth control would we use? Where could we get it? Do I need
to go to a family planning clinic?
? How about sexually transmitted infections? How would we protect ourselves?
? Would having sex change the relationship at all? Make it more intense or
change how I feel?
? Am I feeling pressured by anyone to have sex? My partner? Friends? The
idea that all teens are having sex? (Even though they’re not!)
? Can I talk honestly about sex with my partner? Have we talked about our
sexual histories with each other yet?”

Information from:
“When are you ready for sex”
http://www.sxetc.org/index.php?topic=FAQ&sub_topic=Deciding+about+Sex&content_id=623

If the reasons aren’t right for having sex, then it shouldn’t't be done. Its one of those things that have become so casual that really shouldn’t't’t be. In my previous post, I discussed my thoughs on love. Without love… sex shouldn’t

I have promised my self to stay a virgin until I graduate from high school. I am not saying I am willing to have sex when I get out of High school, I am just making this short term promise because I know I can keep it.

Justin
CPT Justin P. Dodge, MD
Flight Surgeon, 1-2 AVN RGT
Medical Corps, US Army