Dazed and Confused . . .
Well, I guess I am making it through college. Although, I know I haven’t been this sad in a long time.
Its sad when the last four years have passed by with out one day of happiness.
Sometimes I wish to leave and spend a few years away from this country of obsession with perfection. Spend time in the world of nature where no one will judge who I am. Maybe away from everything I could discover the love for myself that I once had so long ago.
I often wonder why? What am I wasting my time on. My life never seems to be stable. I often feel lost, and always feel alone. God, I miss the love I once had for myself.
Confidence, Confidence in who I have become and why I am who I am.
Who I want to be, where I want to go. If I want to go anywhere at all. I just don’t know anymore.
Him
I would be lying if I said I don’t miss him. I would also be lying if I said I don’t love him.
Although I still love him, its a different kind of love than the love I felt for him a year ago. I have accepted the fact the fact that we will never be together again.
I guess he was just my first love and part of him will always be with me. God, I miss his friendship and stability.
What does it feel like to love one’s self
Sadly, I don’t remember what it feels like.
Sometimes I just want to give up. Stop fighting. I am so tired of fighting.
I need hope, I need faith.
I need love.
and I need true happiness.
