So you take a break from life and where do you end up?
{as in life: I mean school}
Here I am, back home and ready. I am ready to start over, to discover new things, to experience the world. I want to learn how to love: my self, the world around me, and others. I want to work, and learn and write and live. I want to discover my self. As lame as this all may seem. . . I am just ready.
LOVE:
I have no real idea of what love is. I don’t think I have really ever known what love is. I often believe that Love is something I will never discover the true meaning of. I always fall for the wrong man, I always develop the wrong friendships. In all these relationship I am the provider. I am ready to have someone provide something for me.
Reading this I seem so selfish. I am JUST READY… Ready for that stable relationship {friend, love, I don’t care!} that I can always rely on. That is always there and never leaves me out in the cold when I need people the most. . .
What I want in a man is probably impossible for a nineteen year old to find. Considering my dream man is around the age of 30 emotional and intelligently… haha. All (okay, not all but many) of the men that I have dealt with over the last few months have all been the same…
{As in same I mean: ASSHOLES}
Don’t want to seem like I have high expectations or anything, but assholes are not really my type.
(sorry assholes, its not you, its me!)
Goodness…the man I want is so close and so far away at the same time. As much as I don’t want to fall for him, I know that deep down its too late. I am not used to someone I can talk to about things that actually matter: the world, religion, nature, love, hope, travel, books…
In my own words “I totally dig him” and I guess there is no point in trying to stop those feelings…
I just need to learn how to live in this moment and ignore the future and the past… because the only thing that does matter is now, here, this moment. And this moment I dig him so that’s that. =)
Yummy, You want to know who else I am diggin’ right now: Zach Braff! I could just eat that man up…
We are going to get married at some point in my life
{of course when I am ready} I just don’t think Zach can handle me right now… I am too beautiful and intelligent for him.
Sorry Zach, I will get back to you in about 8 years or so. I have way too much to accomplish and I don’t need Zach {Or any man} holding me back.
Sorry Boys and Men,
Stay Sexy Virginia,
=)
